FALLING

I’d fall at your feet But your hands Keep me standing Revolving spaces Dissolving mercy Into beautiful grace I’d fall at your feet But your eyes Skip through me Over invisible beats Reviving rhythms I thought were dead I’d fall at your feet But your lips Land soft then hard Melting my insides Erasing doubts … More FALLING

I WANT TO…

  I’m afraid… Not of abandonment Or of being left out I used to think I was Until… I kept surviving And I found wisdom In these things I didn’t understand So no… I am not afraid Of not being picked Or not belonging But… I am afraid Of mental illness Of not being able … More I WANT TO…

WHAT IF…

This morning I woke up with one thought in my mind. What if I am the problem? What if all this time I thought I had no power to change anything and didn’t try just to find out I had enough power to make a difference? WHAT IF… I looked at the world with the … More WHAT IF…

MILES AWAY

The heavy air Echoes my voice As I talk to myself And the words Drop like a stone Into silent water Sending circles To naked shores It’s so cold here Miles away from Where you are

BLACKOUT

August 2014 was the last time I drank alcohol. When I go back and read the things I wrote before my sobriety and the things I write now I can see a huge difference.  I am so glad to have the reminders of who I was and what alcohol did to my state of mind. … More BLACKOUT

WE ARE SNOW

It’s in the snow The specks of dirt That drift and float Dust caged by tears Shed from the heavens Frozen and dropped Wrapped and held And manipulated To be more than To be desired To be beholden For its short lived Mesmerizing And unique beauty Creating blankets Of white cotton Waiting for the sun … More WE ARE SNOW

BREATHING ASHES

Anarchy Steps heavy with Steel toed boots Torches replace Keystrokes Wooden stakes Carved into words Skewering insides Turning logic Into a constant Trickling streams Of overdosed panic Invisible blood Flows thick Drawing poison From weak souls Until the puss Runs sticky And thoughts sit Restless In puddles Of old and dried Scabby wounds Until remorse … More BREATHING ASHES

BLEAK DESOLATION

  Bleakness got stuck here Held under and drowning Beneath a crimson avalanche Of burnt and mutilated words Desperate for coherent sense To strike like lightening Upon the overgrown heads Of the mountain crawlers To cry like rolling thunder Across a grossly pregnant sky Holding its belly just for spite Stuck and buried we are … More BLEAK DESOLATION

CHEMICAL EMOTIONS

Strong messages Tripped on curves Leaning into her Giving into her Finding their way Inside of her She could feel Their movement Snaking softly Around her hips Slithering inside All her bends Looking for ways To purchase A home within her For the rest Of his eternity

UNLIKELY POET

He was a tough man With hard expressions Etched into his eyes A man who grew up On streets named After bullies And drug dealers A place where Everyday traumas Played hide and seek Searching for victims To harass and carry Staining words of hate Inside memories And engraving them With hopelessness A place where … More UNLIKELY POET

BLACK SHEETS

  She woke face down On sheets of black The satiny slick kind The soothing cool kind The hiding secrets kind The kind that stole Her soul that night And left her empty To wander streets With eyes wide Wishing for death Because Who she was Was destroyed When her body Fell into the dark … More BLACK SHEETS

OF ASHES

Inside the dark Was a storm With a hurricane Made of smoke Piercing hearts With broken words Trampling love With its breath Rancid with fear Dropping bodies From skylines Bruised purple And colored With jealousy Smelling Like lavender Scented soap It pours down Its tragic melody Searching endlessly For our creator Raining down into All … More OF ASHES

THE WHITE CROWS

I should have known The moment I woke They had meaning The platoon of birds Sitting far too still On the fence outside As if at attention Waiting for orders They were white Not doves but crows As if covered in paint Or baby powder Or soft fuzzy snow Like a line of cocaine They … More THE WHITE CROWS

KILLER GENTLY

There was blood Lots of it actually It wasn’t dripping It was streaming Pooling steadily Below the bed Once white sheets Now sticky sweet Clouds of red Absorbing cotton As if a storm Was brewing This was it My final kill I’d killed many Since I was nine Youngest enlisted Vampire killer Not so great … More KILLER GENTLY

SUNKEN

My mind is mad A warship sunk Painted in shades Of millennial rust Man the cannons Raise the flags Today we sail Until once again We falter and fail

BECAUSE OF YOU

You found me in my dreams again And again I couldn’t see your face Only a shape dancing around me Coaxing me from my hiding spot Chasing me to the next dark corner Destroying any safety, any comfort You stole my peace.  And my trust. And here I am left picking at wounds Trying to … More BECAUSE OF YOU

EXPECT MORE

I’ve always expected so much from myself. And now I see my daughter doing the same. We want to paint rainbows in the sky. To rain glitter down on life’s parade. And sometimes we get stuck in the mud. Sometimes we want the mud to swallow us up. BUT what gets us unstuck is the … More EXPECT MORE

IF WE MUST BE FIRE

We live in a world Where fire rages And water drowns And if we must be fire Let us use it to warm And to give light to dark And if we must be water Let us heal the thirsty And rain on the parched We get to choose How we get on with life

MINE DIAMONDS

It takes love Fiercely passionate Patient and kind In a world Breeding hate And mistrust Making love A casualty Of childhood We must fight To mine diamonds From our hearts Every single day We can’t give up In our pursuit To discover To uncover The gems hidden Under the pain And anger And we must … More MINE DIAMONDS

HELP ME RISE UP

  Last night this song came on and though I love this song I have never listened to the words. I was sitting next to my daughter and listening to her belt it out. It was beautiful. Her voice, her strength, her… happiness. I felt, at that moment, she would be okay. She would be … More HELP ME RISE UP

BEFORE YOU GO

This morning on the way to work I was listening to FUN’s song CARRY ON. I really don’t know the words but this is how the song made me feel. I looked over to see The beauty of night Holding your heart Preparing it to fly I wondered and mused Just for a minute or … More BEFORE YOU GO

THE COLOR OF RAIN

He thought the rain was purple I liked purple but I saw more To me it was a million colors Depending on mood, or eyes Or even how the light dances As the drops begin to fall Lazy blues, soft yellow hues Crazy reds bleeding from the sky Pinks falling like rose petals Greys dropping … More THE COLOR OF RAIN

IF SHE WERE A DRAGON

I just started watching Game of Thrones.  My favorite character is Daenerys Targaryen.  She is beautiful.  She is strong.  She is compassionate.  I wonder… if she were a Dragon what kind would she be. I was born a dragon With white feathers From head to toe I never learned Like all dragons do To breathe fire … More IF SHE WERE A DRAGON

HER OWN INSANITY

She wanted to hear the words She’d said them so many times But all she got were excuses Why… she shouldn’t say them No matter how much she did No matter how far she’d go It would never be enough The world would still end The flames would still go out And she’d be left … More HER OWN INSANITY

KEEP OUT

I fall apart too often Thinking about things Better left buried Angry about things Done to the many Defenseless kids In the name of self Satisfaction? Gratification? Clinging to hope As if they’ll be their Salvation? Abused, neglected Fending and fighting Having to figure out What the hell is what I’m pissed as hell We … More KEEP OUT

A THOUSAND SHARDS

Don’t breathe I fear I’ll break One small sigh And my porcelain Will surely crack Not even the sky Can blink softly Enough I fear To keep me Together here Don’t touch I’m electricity My tears fatal If they fall Upon you So run quick Before I crumble My thousand And thousand And thousand Shards … More A THOUSAND SHARDS