I was playing patty-cake to a funny school rhyme…
Apples on a stick just make me sick,
Makes my heart go 2-46,
Not because I’m dirty,
Not because I’m clean,
Not because I kissed a boy behind a magazine!
Hey girls! Wanna have some fun?
Here comes xxx with his pants undone!
He can wiggle,
He can wobble,
He can do the splits
But I bet ya fifty dollars that he can’t do this:
My friend looked beautiful, positively radiant in her wedding dress. She was in love and I knew he loved her back. She had her eyes closed, counting down from 10 to 1, as I finished the clapping game with her.
We laughed and I made her turn around so I could fix the back of her wedding dress. Her fiance walked in, picked her up in a hug, and spun her twice around. They didn’t say a word because they didn’t want anyone to know he had snuck in for one last look.
He is pretty stunning but not as stunning as she is.
I excused myself from the room to give them a few moments alone. The hallways in the church were dark and a bit spooky so I went outside. Everyone must have already been inside the church because it was dark and quiet outside.
I heard sirens a few streets down and decided to look for them. I could hear familiar screaming as I got closer.
There were two cop cars and an ambulance with their lights dancing off a nearby fountain and my friends… the friends who were about to be married. They were screaming at… ME.
They both got silent and looked at me, standing frozen. Her face was contorted as if suppressing a scream and he had a hand over his mouth.
Her dress went from white to a dark wet red. I ran towards her to help when I noticed blood on my hands. I looked back up at the bride and the fiance and they had become wolves. Two wolves, each still in their wedding clothes, humping each other.
I started to run.
I ran into a nearby grocery store where all the patrons were holding boxes of rice. The loud speaker announced my arrival, “THE MAID OF HONOR IS HUNGRY” and they all threw rice at me.
I felt the rice sticking to me… like sharp slivers of glass. When I looked down there was a heart in my hands. Not a Valentine’s heart but a Grey’s Anatomy heart… still beating.
I ran outside and put the heart inside a mailbox that had a big Return To Sender sign where the mailing hours should have been.
Then I saw my friends drive away “JUST MARRIED” and I started crying because I missed the wedding.
As I was looking down I noticed my chest was full of rice where my heart should have been.