I am frozen.
Paralyzed or stuck in place.
My eyes are staring at a blank canvas of bright white. The whole room is a blinding blank emptiness. I can’t move and feel I am strapped to a standing gurney. My forehead, hands, feet, and torso all feel strapped tight to this upright structure.
No noise. Not even my own breath. Am I deaf?
I try to speak but my lips won’t move. I try to hum but I can’t.
A fly is dancing in front of me. I am not deaf because I can hear its wings. It is buzzing very loudly. Insanely loud.
It lands on my lips. I can feel it walking around but I still can’t move. Its little legs tickle my lips and I can feel a sneeze build. It is a painful build without hope of release.
The fly buzzes around my ear.
NO… please go away.
The fly walks into my ear and I can hear its wings rubbing the walls inside. I swear I can hear it speaking.
That is what the fly is saying. Focus…
Focus on what? There is nothing.
The fly screams focus as he leaves my ear and buzzes loudly away and through…
Through what? He just disappeared into the white in front of me. The white that surrounds me.
I focus on the white and try to look through it. There must be something else. Something beyond this. But I can’t see it. I focus on trying to hear it but I am only met with a swallowing silence. I try to feel it.
I feel nothing.
I can feel my heart pounding.
I am here. I am alive. I have thoughts. I am breathing. And…
My heart is pounding.
I realized my eyes were shut and I opened them.
I was lying on my back looking up at a sun filled sky. A few clouds dotted the blue serenity above me. I had headphones on but the music I had been listening to had stopped. A fly landed on my nose. He turned to look at me before flying away again.